All life had been sucked out of it, singing “I’ve got the magic in me” through an auto-tuner, resembling a robotic Lovin’ Spoonful (by the way, I DESPISE the Lovin’ Spoonful). It resembled Rivers Cuomo, but it was not the Rivers I knew. Sitting at my friend’s house grilling brats, the zombie emerged from the radio via the 2010 summer dance hit “Magic.” It didn’t rush toward my ears and go straight for my brain, rather it caught me unawares, sitting back sipping on a drink, believing the intro to “Magic” was leading into just another harmless OutKast rip-off. But this weekend, I couldn’t hide from the monster any longer. I’ve tried to keep Weezer off my radar for years now I’ve tried to hold some semblance of hope that the Rivers I grew to know so intimately as a teenager still lived within the money-grubbing shell of a man we see today. Can you imagine the Rivers of the 90s letting Lil Wayne rap over “El Scorcho”? Or worse yet, invite Kenny G on stage to play along with “My Name is Jonas”? Only a brainless Rivers Cuomo would take part in such blasphemy.Īt the 1:55 mark Kenny G joins the band…no lie! Watch until the end the final second of the clip will provide you with douche chills to last the year: Humans love money, but even a human wouldn’t stoop to the levels that Rivers has dropped to in the past few years (not even Jimmy Buffett). Ever since the disappointment set in with the Green Album (which I tried so damn hard to like), I realized Rivers had gone corporate, yet I never imagined he would go to this extreme. The Weezer sound that oozed with emotion and intellect in the 90s is now a lifeless, droning, prisoner of monotony, slowly eating away listeners’ brains, one note at a time. Since the Green Album, I haven’t purchased another Weezer album, an alarming statement considering what a huge part Pinkerton and the Blue Album played in my adolescence. While The Blue Album and Pinkerton were bleeding with emotion and honesty, every album released since has been completely devoid of personality, creativity, or heart. It was such a hugely painful mistake…” Whatever it was, the Rivers of the past 10 years is not the Rivers we got to know in the 90s. Maybe it was karma getting Rivers back for calling Pinkerton “…a hideous record. Maybe it all started when the Scottie Pippen of the band, Matt Sharp, left to front The Rentals. Butterfly” inspired album of self-deprecation and failed relationships has grown so much that Rolling Stone placed it on both the “500 Greatest Albums of All Time” list and the “Top 100 Albums of the 90s” list (revisionist history anyone?).īut after Pinkerton, something happened. As we all know now (and many of us knew back then), Pinkerton is in fact a masterpiece and has gained a cult following since. Unfortunately, their follow-up album Pinkerton got panned by critics because it was labelled as “juvenile” and“abrasive.” By year’s end it ranked #2 on Rolling Stone Magazine’s “Worst Albums of the Year” list. After the Blue Album, it seemed that Weezer could do no wrong with hit songs like “Undone (The Sweater Song)” and “Buddy Holly.” Back in 1994, Weezer’s Blue Album resonated with teenage boys everywhere with its candid, nerdy lyrics about insecurity, Dungeons & Dragons, and homies dissin’ your girl. It’s the only explanation available for what has happened to the Weezer front-man over the past 10 years. In short: Girl is autistic, everybody hates the guy for marrying her, they attack their household because of it, girl gets away, guy dies.Rivers Cuomo is a zombie. In the 70s (Mary Tyler Moore / Buddy Holly era), prejudice and hate crimes against autistic/disabled people would have been extreme. The hate crime situation is further explained in the very first lines: "What with these homies, dissin' my girl? / What did we ever do to these guys, that made them so violent?" They clearly didn't do anything, however the public discourages their relationship because of the girl in a violent way. The man protects his girl until she is able to get away, dying in the process. This can be seen in the "Big Bang" scene, where the girl loses her shoe as an accident while they are being assaulted, and cannot run or kick. It could very possibly be about a guy who dies protecting his girlfriend/wife from some sort of crime (possibly a hate crime, based off of the "I don't care what they say about us anyway" indicating a form of prejudice). My InterpretationI believe this song could have a much darker/sadder meaning to it. Whatsa matter, babe, are you feelin' blue? Whatsa matter, whatsa matter, whatsa matter you? Whatsa matter babe, are you feelin' sick? Your tongue is twisted, your eyes are slit I don't care what they say about us anyway Ooh-wee-ooh, I look just like Buddy Holly What's with these homies dissin' my girl?
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